euphemism

things do have a repetitive nature.for some people it's like a cycle of events;for some it's waves coming & going back & for some it's just repetition of the same mistakes, same goof-ups which result in more frustration, more despair & cumulative destruction of self-expectation. we do need to draw a line depending on our won capabilities..alas!!enlightenment happens when it gets branded as post-dated.


solitude is often necessary.it gives you an insight to yourself & things & people who are your own-self.distance do make things clear & comprehensible, make them stay & makes them feel cherished. i guess it requires enough mental maturity to understand & feel it. to me only a genius cracked brain can get its true flavour.years of dedication devoted in introspection, i guess.


there is an addiction in discovering the so-thought-already known aspects of life. it evokes real passion of exploring oneself.a wanderlust within one's brain..a mirage...so close yet so far...the distance beckons you....you wish you can just travel it in no time...& then you stand still & watch & smile..

Realistic Phantasmagoria

my final year project work is a real cocky shit. i really don't get it that why i landed myself in such a mess of rods & strings with my brain getting twisted rotating triangles in different planes.as if this was not enough,there is an world famous professor (some great Englishman; you can also find him in wikipedia) guiding us. i don't really understand any of his emails & whatever he speaks flies way above my head.
the thing i like about him the most is his personal library;what a collection old man!...i really envy you.

just a day ago, it was as they say it "love is in the air".but recession did play its brutal role & left a sad mark.i read the so called story in the last page of Bangalore times. some AXE deo is the cause of cupid loosing its job & killing flies. sad, really sad.i wonder what will happen to all those arrows when recession made axe more economic. i wish i could visit tiger woods yesterday to find out what he is preferring to use.

now this great golfer who always smiled & said "delivering performance" (accenture guys, sorry!!) has made new buzz popularly termed as fidelity.intellectuals all around the world are breaking their head debating on what is moral & what is mean? what's the big fuss guys?? just stay alone for some time & evaluate yourself on basis of what matters to you more..damn simple.

Socrates said once "when you really want something dearly as you want air, you will surely get it".recently i am getting a feeling that this line may be true. from minute wishes to life defining wants do happen if you really want them to.some may say its all because of recent movements of Jupiter & Venus, some may say Chinese tigers are very happy these day. all i will say is i don't know or want to know the reasons.i am happy.

today i watched the movie MY NAME IS KHAN. its really wonderful to see people mature.the old rahul-anjali growing upto rizwan-mandira of today.poignant performance & script;i must say.if you don't prefer bollywood masalas watch it.you will respect Indian cinema. it hurts to see certain people being so swallow that they don't the intended flavour & spend time by just cursing whats there beyond their grasp. fellas, i am not cursing you; just don't bulb like idiots. however i have a question. will Mr. president watch this movie? i think he should and also take care of his epiglottis.the best part is the movie takes credit of one indian thing which i way above its worldly peers..the desi slangs...."abbe teri *&^% ki..."

finally to all those religious fanatics,"un"moral polices & all those self proclaimed senas n samitis....you guys can RIP...

with memories n red wine...

we at times think ourselves to be self-confident & self-content. we plan for our future.we dream, we wish, we prioritise, we implement..so on & so forth. the irony lies in the fact "change is constant" & we are committed to prove this fact as the solemn universal truth. yeah, it is true that man is a product of circumstances but then how will do the product control??

as i am moving into a new year, i realised that i am indeed nostalgic. i am falling in love with my city kolkata once again. the smell of the city again mesmerises me. i am once again enjoying the chaos,metro rail rides and nearly everything of & about the city.i now do agree, company does matter.i will really miss cosy walks n holding hands in bangalore.

looking back, i felt that i subconsciously missed the city. i have never enjoyed a saraswati pujo & kolkata book fair like this year.the taste of paati aatlamo is still very refreshing..

i wonder if we could freeze time & enjoyable moments so that we dont feel lonely after they are gone.i wish there was an unlimited supply of red wine for me.all i can do now is borrow pink floyd..."wish you were here"....

a realisation just after midnight

poetry remains dormant when you are having a joy ride.it erupts only when you try to seek within yourself & try to find certain answers (rather recollect some old answers).it's something like searching your most precious possession in its old address.to me the most concerning thing in life is resurfacing of an unrealistic doubt.you know its unreasonable & totally illogical.then also you tend to succumb to it.you try to drown in your memories even when you know you can swim.the darkness deepens when feel and comfort fades away.all i want is myself to abide with me.tears have no bitterness. i know what i am saying is a heresy but i do abide with me.

covetous me

i saw a anti drug campaign poster in our college today.a nymphomaniac looking girl with piercings all around her face proudly proclaims that she don't do drugs.i had a good laugh seeing it.who cares if you do or don't nymph!!!!
well i am not a patroniser of doing drugs but i am doing it these days & i really feel like me.what i am exactly into is a kind of sugar; a very customised and personalised type.its like my own brand of cocktail of acid and heroine.it gives me a tremendous kick & helps me to seek within.i don't think i was so sure about what i wanted as i am now.only thing it has taken away from me is my ultra-reckless lifestyle.i don't dare to be fatal these days because this sugar clots my thoughts and senses.my best friend opines that i may be diabetic in long run.i simply put a cello tape on her lips- a blatant SHUT UP.
i am not gonna compromise on anything for my drug of life.so all those 'concerned' about me ,you guys can simply f*** off!!!


[n.s.- for all those morons who think i am taking brown sugar, peace off]

conscience hitters

they say "to err is human". i prefer it more like " to be belligerent is human".well we all can boast that we are the most sophisticated animals.now on the same line, we all know the perils and bliss of sophistication.let me give a simple example- a burning arrow in due course of time turned into sophisticated nuclear missile.all these correlative examples force me to conclude that a belligerent human is the most ferocious animal.

now the main point to contemplate is what's the best way to take revenge?you can go and shout or else have a physical dominance or just become too hostile to make the life of your adversary "memorable".however the most lasting and effective way is to hit the conscience of your "friend", then blast the respective ego and subsequently ruin the honorary life.

the most sophisticated mean of taking revenge has its own drawbacks like all sophistication's of human creativity.if your adversary has a strong hold upon him/herself and is clear to his/her conscious and also subconscious thoughts (pray he/she isn't like that), then the most effective weapon will definitely backfire with a greater impulse.only way to get out of its way is to flee temporarily ( or is it forever?)


however, we don't really give a damn to all this.we have a new weapon in our arsenal.we got to use it.its time for the society to hate its unorthodoxities.it's time to celebrate psychological manoeuvres and ego killings-as they say "game on...". i would prefer to brand it as "battle royale".

twister

in past 3 years, there is one thing which keeps on repeating in my life.at any point of time there is a chaotic mixing of my thoughts,deeds,life style,anectodes,brands i use,my hangouts and what all and what not.i don't understand if it is a mere coincidence or analogy or is it simply a big WTF??whatever it is i dont know how 2 express it.it is confusing,utter frustating but at the same time gives me some kind of flavour.

a recent thing that has happened to me is i am getting addicted to a specific brand of fruit juice -tropicana twister.oh great old monk!! please dont feel insecure.i still worship and adore you.i am so jobless and out of creativity that i am writing these shit loads...duh!!!!

one more year and i am going to graduate as an engineer.its time to feel proud and pat my back.i at times wonder that we will all graduate as some textual engineers with some blunt classroom teachings and sarcasms of our education system.we will be called as pillars of progress of human civilisation..damn it man!!!anyways we will all join in showing our white teeth wearing our black coats and throwing our black hat with a tail high up in the air.cheers to that!!!

nothing gets better when you come back home after being technically challenged for one more tiring semester and then being treated as a kiddo.good food, compliments fake warmth all around.however the comfort of being in my own city beats all this.i just enjoy being in kolkata.the smell of this city mesmerishes me.from my childhood i am a dedicated fan of pseudo bengali intellectualism and this city is the place where i can experience and enjoy it.


finally , thank you!!

(p.s- last line is from personal jesus)